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I know, I know, I know.  You guys have already heard from a million gazillion people about how to put up with teasing.  That's fine and dandy.  Really.  But I thought that since most of the people that come here are somehow related to the world of us "special" little children ( I know, I hate being called a "special child" too), I have an obligation to put something about teasing on this page.  

WARNING:  Lots of jibber-jabber ahead...
(shh!  it's a secret): the important stuff is in color (pink, yellow or green)

Now like I said before, I know you've already heard from your parents, those people that write in the medical newsletters and you've probably seen several presentations or videos on the subject,  There's nothing wrong with that.  But lets be honest, how many of you have really used any of those "techniques".  I mean, how many of you have heard about a technique similar to this:

TEASER:  What are you, a bug-eyed alien or somethin'?  hehehe (pokes TEASER BUDDY in the ribbs)
YOU:  What did you say?
TEASER:  I said: What are you, a bug-eyed alien or somethin'?  hehehe (pokes TEASER BUDDY in the ribbs)
YOU:  What did you say?
TEASER:  I said: What are you, a bug-eyed alien or somethin'?  hehehe (pokes TEASER BUDDY in the ribbs)
YOU:  What did you say?
And so it goes thanks to a wonderful invention called copy/paste.  After, oh say five more times:

YOU: Wow Teaser!  You just called me a bug-eyed alien 8 TIMES!  Wanna come over after school and say it to me again 8 MORE TIMES?!  

Now the video would have it that our friend, Teaser would bug off (hahaha).  But lets be realistic okay?  In real life, Teaser and Buddy will just think your a bug-eyed alien whose strange and hard of hearing.  

Oh, and by the way, I don't think any of you look like bug-eyed aliens.

I'm sure a lot of you are staring at the screen and asking "Where's she going with this?"  The answer is pretty simple really, I don't know.  Because when it comes to teasing, I can't write you a special script no matter how much the guys with PhDs and MDs and other sets of letters say I can.  

--But, because I have alot of experience with this stuff, here's some tips:

Before RED, I couldn't go to the mall without those little kids staring at me!  I've always been told that
they don't know any better', but that's a hard pill to swallow.  It seems that somebody would've fed them some manners by now!  You're the first person they've ever seen who looks different than them.   I know it's tempting to stare them down, but don't.  I've done it before, but now I realize that that was a bad idea.  Here's why:  If you are the first person that they've ever seen that looks "different" from them and you stare back or scowl at them  then they'll think that every "different person" is mean.  You're probably not a mean person, but how will a little 4-year-old know that if all you do is stare right back at them?  "But they were mean first!"  you say.  True, but remember Romans 12:19-21?   It's the passage that talks about not taking revenge, and that the best way to take revenge is by being NICE!

So what do you do?  You smile at them, maybe wave if they're not too close to you.  Now I know, it's sickening, really, it is.  You're smilling so big it feels like your cheeks will burst, and you're ready to puke.  Hey, it's hard to act friendly to a little annoying kid.  I know it, and you know it, but just think of it as extra acting practice.  Maybe you could even add it to your resume.

Wait!  I'm not finished yet.  We've covered the little kids, now how 'bout the big kids.  I know "big" is relative, but I'm talking about the 9+ kids (I'm in high school, by the way).  These guys are the most annoying because they really do know better.  What I recommend is to wink and smile at them (DON'T wave if you think they're over the age of 13, please).  If they're somewhat nice, maybe they'll smile back.  If they're paranoid, they'll run away.  Simple and dandy.       

First I want to address the fact that curiosity is not the same as verbal teasing.  If someone asks you "What's wrong with your face?" yeah, obviously not the most sensitive person, but they probably don't mean to offend you.  --But they will.  That's why it's important to be patient with them.  They truly are just curious.  

Things NOT to do in this situation:   
1+Tell them you're from Jupiter
2+Give them your life story
3+Give a dramatic account of how you fought off a wild cayote to rescue a baby
4+Use lots of medical terminology to gross them out
5+Threaten to give 'em the life threatening disease you have.

Why:  I think I've tried #1 before (or maybe I was daydreaming), either way, you'll get mixed reactions amd they'll think your wierd (not to mention rude).  They'll know you were being sarcastic, yet it may be taken offensively.
#2 would be too long and complicated.  #3 is lying or sarcasm, depending on how you tell it (unless that really did happen to you).  #4 is too much brain food for the average person, not to mention rude and disgusting (I can't tell you how many people I have totally grossed out without even trying to)  #5 is lying and rude.

What you should do: Just say "Oh I was born like this.  Don't worry, I'm not contagious." then smile.  Sound stupid and corny?  Yeah, but that's also the best way to handle it.  It's short, simple and true.  
Oh, and one other thing:  If and when they ask questions, answer them!  They just want to know.   And don't be afraid to say "I don't know" when you really don't.  Okay, I know some of you are starting to get mad at me, I think I'd be starting to get mad at me if I were you, but the fact is that these facts are true.  

Got better suggestion?  I sure hope so!  So send them to me!  I'll even give you full credit if you allow me to.  

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